My Life Unfolding…

My Story…

I won’t paint a pretty picture

Nor throw in blacks to bring the painting down

I’ll say what it is

and what I hope it to be

that’s the only way I know how….

There’s so much I hardly remember

The laughter and the shame collide

Childhood games, singing songs

Feeling right, feeling wrong

It’s mostly a blend of green.

Green, you see is life to me

It brings out the beauty where it shines

And this my friend is what Christ is to me

How he loves, how he is, he’s beautiful.

He’s beautiful.

I wanted to see what was all the rage

I felt it lacked so much

When I had an Eden to run to

Why flutter around as such.

Not to say there was no pain, there’s been plenty

I could share

How I feared, tears I shed,

Boys I loved who weren’t the one.

They could never love me like him,

They could promise so little.

I sometimes ran away then back again

But my legs grew tired of that.

There’s no joy in going nowhere.

He’s loved me high, he’s loved me low

He’s loved me when I sinned.

He’s loved me when I spoke too soon, snuck out, lived shallow, been selfish, been dead, was snotty.

He loved me back to purpose that will NEVER let me go

Filled my heart with passion that seems to overflow

Now my legs are tired, but it’s the right kind of weary

Lifts me when I’m dreary, restores me, IS restoring me.

My hopes are wrapped up in him

I want you to see him too

Cause all the love he’s given me

Is just as completely just for you.

I’d like to run together, a partner’s always good

It’s more than just not doing that or just because I should.

The reality is we need him…we really really do.

It’s not stupid at all to discover something true.

Bravery and desperation is all you really need

A little dose of humility and you’re golden in the green.

My story’s still unfinished oh how I can’t wait as it unfolds

For if he’s given me:

Hope

Love

Laughter

A song

A lover

A mother’s heart

A measure of courage

Adventure

Risk

Desire

Mountains

Water

Nurture

A crowd to cheer me

A life redeemed

A world to touch

….then what lies ahead must be lovely…..

You can join me too…you don’t have to be like me.

He loves to bring out in you what he created you to be.

Call out in rescue, I help you yell if you need me to

Cause I yelled, I still yell

I want you safe

So does he

You are loved

You really really are…

….is there anything else more beautiful?

THIS is my story

My Heart is Drawn to Seasons!

Tis so true!  As scary or uncertain change can be, I find myself in LOVE with this idea of seasons.  In the natural, it is true of me.  While many an Iowan can be found cursing cold days, hiding from humid summers, disdaining flooded streets and raking leaves (all valid points I must add) I have come to realize my deep love for the what each season brings.  Despite my complete hate for slippery streets, there’s nothing more nostalgic and dreamy as a white Christmas.  Summer SHOULD be hot and gives me an excuse to run through sprinklers in the back yard with my girls and celebrate Independence Day under firework skies.  There’s nothing redeeming about flooding for sure, but I adore (and might I add really REALLY miss) a slightly scary, powerful thunderstorm.  The kind that keeps you glued to the TV and prompts you snuggle your family just a little tighter.  And FALL time, well that’s just my FAVORITE.  Hot chocolate, comfy sweaters, boots, scarves, football games (hey, I watched a few!), hay-rack rides, apple orchards, pumpkin carving and more!  Each and every season brings with it its challenges and its strengths and gives us all an opportunity to choose how we might look at it.

Today, I begin another season in my time here at Hillsong College and Australia.  Though many things remain constant, I am already feeling quite different as I head into second semester.  I no longer have “new kid” syndrome and am quite appreciating times when I can steal away to be by myself, think, have a cup of tea, soak up truth and even write this blog!

THIS is a SEASON where I feel as if this semester at college will slip away fast and there is a desire to saturate myself in all that I’m learning hoping some of it will stick in my heart forever.  There are truths I’ve heard, but have yet to grab hold of for myself.  There is an anointing that is so real that I pray a large portion of it marks my life and the life of my family from this point on.  It’s a season where the “springboard” we’re on is settling deep, gaining pressure, and being prepared to release us into another new season.

Many have asked us what’s next?  The reality is, it’s still being shaped, dreamed about, and weighed.  There’s a lot of prayer, a lot of talking, a lot of ideas, but ultimately we just want to be where God wants us.  We also want to be prepared.  We don’t want to think so far ahead that we miss an inch of all being done in the moment!  We trust that no matter what season it turns into, it will be, as all the rest, quite bitter sweet!

One thing our family has is passion – passion to change the world, passion to keep our love strong and thriving, passion to see our family strong, beautiful, courageous and flourishing.  Passion to be healthy, passion to be balanced, passion to be whole, passion to ignite passion in others and passion to continually be changed.  ABOVE ALL and wrapped in the center of all that passion is love for God because of the love FROM God and the desire to see our lives say “God is real because I see him in you!”

I’ll wrap up (cause I’ve already went on a tangent!) and say that seasons are truly beautiful, they keep us fresh, motivated and moving forward.  Don’t live a life in one season out of fear or comfort – there is beauty to behold when you gracefully allow your life and your God to take you from one season to the next!  During hard seasons, you’ll rest assured that good things are on the horizon.  When you’re flourishing, you can appreciate it and understand that for flowers to grow and blossom, they must be pruned and you’ll stay strong and planted along the way!  And be aware (as we are naturally right now because of our position on the earth) that often others you love most are in a different season.  Let us all (including me) be willing to serve others where they are, trusting the God, who created and carries the seasons, to lead them forward!

MUCH MUCH LOVE,

Robin

Things that make me smile!!

Thought it was time to stop, take a breath and list, love and think about all the things that my my heart happy!  What’s YOUR list?!

When God SPEAKS, provides, loves on and directs me…EVEN when he corrects me, I know I’m cherished!
Whenever my husband calls me or texts me…it makes me feel so important and blessed.
Seeing Tony in his skinny jeans and beanie cap!  DUDE, the man is GORGEOUS and he’s MINE!!
Running my hands through Tony’s hair (I LOVE the color of his hair…Jet Black!)
The feeling in my heart when I FIRST see my daughters…when they wake up, when I see them after a day at school, or pick them up from their classes at church or even just talk to them on the phone!  It melts me!!
Watching Ayla play on her Hannah Montana guitar!
Hope’s EXCITED eyes!  The cutest thing I’ve ever seen!!
COFFEE…the smell, the taste, the coziness and warmth it brings.
The sweat of a good run…it’s tough, but SO rewarding…I LOVE IT!  (and I need to do it a LOT more than I do!)
Singing in my car…no stress, just playing around!
Great music of all kinds…jamming along!
Trying and seeing new things…ADVENTURE!
Organic Chips and Salsa…my tummy sure smiles!
Great conversations over coffee…there is nothing like it!
The funny things my girls say!
Movie and popcorn with my man!  If snuggling is included, it’s EVEN BETTER!
Thunderstorms…their power, the excitement!
SALES…good clothes or groceries at a great price makes me feel all Proverbs 31-ish!
The sassy feeling you get when you leave the salon after a great hair cut/color!
Dressing up!
Homemade dinners with great friends
Green tea and honey
CHRISTMAS and all things included!
An unexpected encouraging word from a friend.
Gloria Jeans/Starbucks!
LAUGHING
Great, real, powerful, practical bible teaching
Mike Huckabee…even his name makes me giggle…but seriously, I think this man is wise and solid and I hope he runs for president in 2012!!
Great fashion!
Cookie Dough
Creating
My Message Bible

Just thought it was good to take stock in all that is good and relish it a bit this week!  Hope you do the same!!

GOD BLESS!!

Don’t Box Me In!

Psalms 119:45 (MSG)
“And I’ll stride freely through wide open spaces as I look for your truth and your wisdom.”

This VERSE makes me wanna jump out of my seat, run around, dance, live, be perfectly liberated!

There have been several people on my heart lately that have known God in the past and today are not walking closely with him.  They seem to still present an element of Christian faith, but there’s an inner torment to them that is visible to the spiritual eye.  It’s as if they are in constant strife within themselves wanting desperately to be free and to follow God, yet as if something unseen is yanking them back.  These are people whose hearts are not completely cold…they WANT to do right…yet, they can’t let themselves open their hearts to the deeper things of God because of one thing….THE BOX.

Oh, the box….that cold, clammy box.  IT separates, classifies, defines, constrains, labels and compartmentalizes us.  Like a little pet, it diminishes our vision, makes things a gloomy shade of brown, and hides the reality of what God really has.

I HATE the box.

I hate that these beautiful people feel trapped.  I hate that the enemy of our souls, the devil LIES and says God wants to put them in a box.  I hate that they feel there is no room in God to be unique, intricate, multi-faceted, strong.  The blend of what God will bring out in them, in his holiness, his righteousness, his creativity can be so powerful and fresh that it breaks down barriers never broken….so yeah DUH, Satan would LOVE to keep you there!

I started to think about different Christians I admire…here are a FEW and why.  Take note of how DIFFERENT they are!

- My mom…she’s sweet, incredibly thoughtful, sometimes quirky, SO desirous to please the Lord, loving, loyal and always, ALWAYS encouraging.
- My husband…the hunter, protector, strong yet meek.  FUNNY, likable, stable!  When he prays, the simplicity and “real”ness in his prayers moves heaven!
- Joyce Meyer…she’s witty, REAL, deep, confident and has been through real life issues.  She gets life…she’s struggled and overcome with GOD!
- Brooke Fraser…her voice is amazing.  She’s humanitarian and seems to have a more quiet, yet passionate spirit about her.
- Priscilla Shirer….she’s BOLD, in love with her family, sassy and an amazing preacher of the word.

LOOK…see how each one is different from another.  They all love God but reflect a portion of him that is completely unlike any other!!  Can we grasp this?  Can “I” grasp this?!  Is it possible that what I…Mrs. Robin Benning or YOU (insert your name here!) can bring can shatter the walls of what Christianity looks like currently and show a whole new side of God!?!

In all of this, I realize that it is SO important to bring additional wisdom to the picture!  As dangerous as it is to believe that God wants you limited, confined and restrained it’s JUST as dangerous to think that the foundational truths of his word don’t apply to you.  Grace isn’t a license to sin….NO, GRACE is the ANSWER to it!!  What I find SO incredibly beautiful about God is that he gives us both ROOTS and WINGS.  What I mean is that he has his non-negotiables, as all good relationships should…AND he gives us WIDE open space to be who HE made us to be!  He will not lead us into sin…things that would bring ruin and destruction to our lives, things that would separate us from him!  He LOVES you and he WILL help you overcome!

I hope this little little bit helps someone…I really do!  For fear of completing a mass novel, I shall wrap up these thoughts of mine.  I shall go THROW AWAY my BOX, take God’s hand and head to some WIDER, FREEER spaces where I can find more truth, more wisdom!  Wanna come?!
Much love!

The Beautiful Breakdown

Today’s blog is all about the “breakdown!”  I decided to use a little play on words and incorporate two themes within my one catchy title!  First, I wanna give a literal breakdown of daily life here in Oz (gotta appease the grandparents!!) and secondly, I wanna address something that’s been building in my heart over time and a phrase that God’s been playing over and over in my head!

SO, onto the practical!  Life here is good!  The weather outside continues to cool off and even though it’s bringing with it lots of sniffles and congestion it is still, somehow, very refreshing.  Woe to all those who laughed at me when I packed our sweatshirts, sweat pants, and heavy coats cause guess what…we’ll need em!!   We keep watching to see if the leaves will begin to change and fall and are well on our way of learning the difference between Celcius and Fahrenheit (though I still daily reference my temp translation Ipod app!)  BIG news around our house is that Hope is nearly potty trained!!  As I’m writing this, Tony just texted me and said she’s already pooped on the potty two times today and told him she had to go both times!  All the parents of potty trained kids say WOOT WOOT!  It’s crazy what excites you when you become parents…conversations become centered around your child’s bowel movements, but it’s SO COOL!  I’m seriously SO proud of her!  It’s been a lot less stressful then Ayla’s training even though I’m sure that was probably just US and our lack of understanding!  It’s so cool to see the look on Hope’s face when she realizes what she has accomplished!  We love making a big deal out of it and seeing her beam!  She gets all messy eating her two little M&M’s but we don’t care cause we want her to feel our encouragement!  PLUS, seeing her toddle around in little undies is heart melting, she’s adorable!  It just hit me that I haven’t changed a diaper for a bit…WHOA…wierd!!  Another great thing…it’ll save us at least 60 bucks a month!  How cool is THAT?

Ayla’s getting so big too!  She’s learning her numbers and letters so quickly!  She can spell and write her name and can nearly count to 20!  She’s so spirited and confident and I love it!  Even when she tests me, I can’t explain the love I feel for her!  I forever feel like she is my little baby and we grow more and more connected simply cause she is my parenting guinea pig!!    She is so encouraging and sweet at times too and I can’t get over it!  The other day I was feeling very sick and she sat and rubbed my back!  Such a tender sweetie!  The girls are doing so good and I’m so grateful!!  BEYOND grateful!

Tony is doing so great too!  He’s close to finishing up his Associates in Criminal Justice and in a couple short weeks will be 27!  I will need a whole other blog to tell you how I feel about him, all he does for me, what God is doing in him and truly truly how PROUD I am to be his wife and how I still get amazed that Tony chose me!

School is so good too!  At least once every day I have an “I can’t believe I’m actually here” moment!  And it’s not cause Hillsong is all that (though it IS absolutely amazing), it’s because GOD is all that!  He placed, watered and planted the desire in my heart to go here and then saw it through to completion!  I’m learning soooooooo much and soaking up every bit that I can!

Part of that learning is the second thing I wanna chat about on this blog!  I entitled it The Beautiful Breakdown cause I’ve had a message burning in my heart lately.  The phrase, the message is this…Brokeness makes way for beautiful!
SO, I don’t know if it’s the girliness in me or what but it seems as if I have a breakdown, OH, about once every few weeks!  Things build up, something goes wildly astray, I get overwhelmed and BAM, I’m sobbing into my pillow and crying out to God.  For SO long, I’ve felt silly, shamed for my little episodes or as if HEY, I should be STRONG and I feel so weak.  But as time has gone by and I go to God, I’m realizing that every breakdown is another opportunity.  First, I feel like God is just happy that I come to him.  That’s not to toot my own horn, it’s just that there are so many different directions to run when chaos strikes that I think God is pleased when I, or anyone else, simply looks to him!  The word says “I lift my eyes up to the mountains, where does my help come from?  My help comes from you, maker of Heaven and Earth!”  His heart gets all melty and he embraces, not shuns, the moment!  He also says I can approach his throne of grace with CONFIDENCE…not shame!  Recently someone highlighted the fact that we are coming for mercy, we’re not coming strong, we’re coming weak and in that God says…COME BOLDLY!  I guess I’m learning to see these breakdowns as times when I pour out all my weakness and dependency to God and he uses what is messy and turns it into something beautiful.  He takes my humanity and brokenness and makes something strong, unbreakable, and gorgeous out of it.  So, in all, I hope that over time I’m growing more and more beautiful, whole and strong!

SO, DON’T BE AFRAID to break down….God can turns brokenness to beautiful!

ALSO, for those prayer warriors out there – could you be praying for us specifically for a few things:

Our job situations.  That we would find employment that brings in all we need to sustain our life here and MORE so that we can eliminate debt and continue to be generous and be able to do some fun things while we’re here!

Our car.  That it would continue to run well.

Our balance of time.  That I would be able to have the capacity to do all I need to here and do it well.  That I can complete school and do it well, have all the quality family time we need, have time to build some relationships, and find the energy and strength to put in all the work hours I need to.

Things I’m SUPER grateful for:
My HUSBAND…(again, another blog could be devoted to him) but he is such a blessing to me and my perfect partner in life!  I LOVE HIM SO MUCH…not to mention, we make beautiful babies!!

Our beautiful home…it’s gorgeous, in a great neighbhorhood, lots of space!

My great tutorial class!  Really, they are so cool, so loving, so full of potential and wisdom!

Autumn Rain

Blog 1 – YEP, my very first one!  If you’re reading this, read it with an extra amount of grace cause amongst everything else new in my world, blogging is right there on the list. As I continue, I’m sure the blogs will be as multi-faceted as I am…sometimes poetic and artsy, sometimes moody or thoughtful, maybe boring, probably dramatic, thoughts from inside the box, thoughts from outside the box, perhaps controversial – cause I plan on being honest (not that I try to make any waves) and hopefully always passionate and always a blessing (cause ain’t that what its all about!?)  Anyhow, I’ll strive to be consistent and will love feedback!  ENJOY!

My mind and heart have been captured lately by the beauty of Autumn rain.
Newness.
Refreshing, sometimes inconvenient, yet pleasing, freeing….drenches you, yet makes you want to sing, dance.  Autumn Rain.

Last night the sky was crisp and breezy.  Windows were down, hair was flying…then in a second, like the flip of a switch, a massive downpour occurred.  It was exciting and fun!  I love Autumn, I love Fall…it’s my absolute favorite and thanks to the move down under I get to experience it twice this year.  There’s something so thrilling about the change of seasons huh?  Like something new is on the horizon, there’s something fresh in the air.  It’s beautiful!  It’s time to cozy up, wrap yourself up in your favorite sweater and hide yourself in layers of scarves!
The other day it became a joke cause every few minutes I kept proclaiming…”I LOVE this weather!”  I couldn’t help it…I had to share my delight and feelings of nostalgia.  They were too overwhelming.
YET, I said YET change can be trying too.  Right?  It’s needed to grow.  I CRAVE it from deep within, I yearn for new challenge.  BUT it’s scary, sometimes shaky and hard to manuver.
This is me….now.
So so so much has changed in the past few months!  I’ve got a new church, a new home, a new car, a new city, a new COUNTRY, new adventures, new surroundings, new friends, new housemates, new grocery stores, new cell phones, new job, new, new, new!  And truthfully, it’s just like that Autumn rain…it’s thrilling, exciting, exhilarating, beautiful, fresh and I LOVE IT!
It’s ALSO challenging.  A new twist in the story every week.  One mountain conquered only to gaze upon another.  I’ve never experienced this before.  I’ve never had to learn to live on so little.  I’ve never had to step this far out of my comfort zone to forge new friendships.  I’ve never had to challenge my thought life and encourage myself in the Lord as much as these past few months.  I’ve never had to foster my faith more.  I’ve never had to settle into God’s arms like this….never.
YET, I said YET again…I will, however and by the grace of God, never cease to find the beauty in it.  How sweet it is to see each new change enlarging me, growing me, helping me, showing me where I need to grow, humbling me, blowing my mind…yes, how sweet it is!

SO, for you, who might be reading…or even if it’s just for me learning as I write this down again…be encouraged.  Learn to focus on the joy of newness and the thrill of the adventure of God.  Don’t discredit or deny the tough stuff, but also appreciate what God can do with it.  Here’s a few verses and song lyrics on the matter at hand:

Job 23:10 (NIV) – But he knows the way that I take;
when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold.

Jeremiah 31:33 (MSG) – God told them “I’ve never quit loving you and I never will.  Expect love, love and more love!”

Blessed – Hillsong (lyrics)
Blessed are those who dwell in Your house
They are ever praising You
Blessed are those whose strength is in You
Whose hearts are sets on our God

Every Season – Nicole Nordeman (Lyrics)
Every evening sky, an invitation 
To trace the patterned stars 
And early in July, a celebration 
For freedom that is ours 
And I notice You 
In children’s games 
In those who watch them from the shade 
Every drop of sun is full of fun and wonder 
You are summer
And even when the trees have just surrendered 
To the harvest time 
Forfeiting their leaves in late September 
And sending us inside 
Still I notice You when change begins 
And I am braced for colder winds 
I will offer thanks for what has been and was to come 
You are autumn
And everything in time and under heaven 
Finally falls asleep 
Wrapped in blankets white, all creation 
Shivers underneath 
And still I notice you 
When branches crack 
And in my breath on frosted glass 
Even now in death, You open doors for life to enter 
You are winter
And everything that’s new has bravely surfaced 
Teaching us to breathe 
What was frozen through is newly purposed 
Turning all things green 
So it is with You 
And how You make me new 
With every season’s change 
And so it will be 
As You are re-creating me 
Summer, autumn, winter, spring

Hello world!

Welcome to Blog.com.

So, I did it…I decided to venture into the unknown, vast world of blogging!  Hope you enjoy…thanks for reading!

Robin B.

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